Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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