they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
