Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you will always have a special place in my vag
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
