Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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