I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
