Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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