How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
