are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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