I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
