The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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