I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
