I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
