how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
