We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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