so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
