This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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