brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
