What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
