I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
