How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
