i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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