the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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