would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
