i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
