No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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