yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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