Moan for me like Helen Keller
Fuck appropriateness.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
