I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
