You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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