what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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