Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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