Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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