It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Randomize
