I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
