Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
