He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
