i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I will be naked everywhere
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
