I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
