you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just found a bag of teeth...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize