If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
