Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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