Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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