if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
