I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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