IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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