apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
