He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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