Dual....:-)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize