just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
