I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
