wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We had to coat check the pizza.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
