I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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