i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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