i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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