There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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