Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
