Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
