i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
