You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
