are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
